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Farewell to The Old Flesh; Long Live the New

November 27, 2013

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I’m not entirely sure what it is about being in St. Louis, Missouri that drives me to post to my blog.  One thing’s for sure; I’m going to have to post to this thing a lot more.  No point in having a blog if one doesn’t use it, now is there?

So, I’m in the midwest again, once again to help an old and dear friend to get her house in order.  This time, I’ll be here over Thanksgiving, which is an issue.  Oh, it’s not an issue that I’m in the midwest over Thanksgiving; the issue is Thanksgiving itself.  The Holiday season is historically bad for people trying to control their eating habits, and Thanksgiving itself?  Well, it’s all about the food.

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It’s actually pretty appropriate that my “Foodie” icon has a skull in it; food will likely be the death of me.  I’m an out of control diabetic that is struggling hard with diet.  It isn’t that I don’t know how I should eat; it’s that I never seem to get around to doing it right.  I should be eating mostly vegetables and proteins, with little (or no) carbs or starches.  For my beverages, there should be water or unsweetened tea.  There needs to be a complete absence of cookies, pastries, candies, and all sugary treats.  My fruit consumption should be very limited; there’s as much sugar in a grape as in the average drink of soda.

So, when my lovely host asked me, this morning, if I wanted the Sweet Potato pie made with sugar substitutes, I squared my shoulders, set my resolve, and said “Hell no.  If you’re going to make a Sweet Potato pie, make a Sweet Potato pie.”  Then, I determined that I will consume said pie in extreme moderation.  Tomorrow, of course, after the rest of the Thanksgiving meal, a red mist will descend over my eyes when the pie hits the table.  I’ll take up three forks (one held between my teeth) and attack the pie as though it were an invading army come to pillage my home town.  When the red mist clears and the forks hit the table, I will likely have consumed half of the thing, leaving only the tell-tale layer of whipped cream on my eyebrows as evidence.  Well, that and my enormous blood sugar level.

Food is one of my greatest passions.  If I could see food as mere fuel, to be measured carefully and taken in regular doses, I’d be much better off.  Heck, if I could do that, I wouldn’t be a type 2 Diabetic, right now.  I should be drinking only water and tea, but there’s a Cherry Coke Zero next to me as I type this.  True, it’s a diet soda, but those really aren’t much better for me than a sugared soda.  In most other areas, I’d say I have average to good willpower.  When it comes to food, though… yeah, not so much.

There are whole books of advice written on this matter; I know, I’ve read most of them.  Again, it isn’t that I don’t know what my problem is, and how I should be eating.  There’s always one more thing coming along, though.  “I’ll eat right after this trip.”  “I’ll eat right after I hit this deadline.”  “I’ll eat right after this job is done.”  “I’ll eat right after this holiday.”  Then we get right back around to “I’ll eat right after this trip,” and the cycle starts all over again.

So, in response, I’m not going to make a New Year’s resolution; those have never worked out well for me.  No, here’s the deal that I have to make with myself.

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This is my last Cherry Coke Zero.  This is my last diet soda.  I have had my last sugary snack.  I have eaten my last piece of candy, I have crunched my last cookie, I have attacked my last cake.

I’ve been pretty good about balancing low-carb and high-protein, of late; if I can just chase out all of the extra stuff I put into my body, then I’ll probably be doing much better.

If I add to this a daily walk (no matter how cold it is outside, like today), then I’ll improve my chances a lot.  It’s time to treat myself like I treat my RPG Characters; all of the willpower and determination I attribute to my fictional selves needs to come home to roost in my actual self.  So, what do I give myself as a reward if I manage to do these things successfully?

I get to live.

Keep watching this space; I’ll let you know how it goes.  This is going to be an interesting ride.

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